summer and body image

I’ve been talking a lot and reading about body positivity recently – from my top 5 body positive books to my review of Puddin’, June was a pretty great month on that front. But there’s a reason why this time of year is when I need to talk about it.

Summer is a difficult time for me, body wise. I like winter, when I can bundle myself up in jumpers and scarves and coats and no one can really tell what shape I am, underneath the clothing. But in summer, I find myself feeling worse and worse about myself. I look at other people in their short shorts and just wonder to myself – why can’t I just do that?

I can. I know I can, and I would tell any other person that they should go out and be proud of their body! Wear that crop top, and those short shorts! And I’m trying, I really am. It’s just a lot harder than throwing on something and then magically feeling GREAT. I think it has something to do with the fact that I grew up in a hot country, so people went around with very little on all the time. I was constantly comparing myself to others all the time, I didn’t have winter as a time to relax. It also has a lot to do with the fact that my weight has fluctuated so rapidly in the past 3 years. At one point, at my most mentally ill, I was a size 6. I am now between a size 16 and 18.

My boyfriend recently suggested that we visit a gym and go to a steam room. I love this idea – I need a good relax – but I also cringed. I knew that I would need to get a bathing suit, and that’s the last thing I want right now. a) I hate shopping for clothes because inevitably nothing fits me and b) I don’t want to even start thinking about bathing suits, because I’ll compare myself to other people even more.

I don’t know how to conclude this post – I’m trying my best not to compare myself to others. I’ve been experimenting with my clothes, getting my legs and arms out every now and again. I’ve even got a crop top that I’m thinking about wearing to London Pride. (Because if there’s a place where no one will judge, that’s hopefully it). But it’s still a struggle for me.

How do you deal with body image?

5 thoughts on “summer and body image

  1. Norrie says:

    Hang in there! ❤

    I used to be overly concerned about what i look like, even tho, i've never been bigger than a size 10. Although with my height and body type i looked bigger as a size 10 than what usually people imagine as size 10. (Like people asked me if i was pregnant and shit like that…)

    I tried diet, tried gym, and nothing seemed to work. Like, i even felt worse. Because "i'm trying here and it doesn't work and everyone looks lovely, i must be doing something wrong" kinda thing.

    Your boyfriend's idea of going to gym is nice, and exercise certainly help to stay healthier. But if you are not used to working out, or the type of workout, you might end up demotivated like i was, because my expectations were just not right.

    The last time i got fed up with myself was 3 years ago, and i basically changed my whole attitude, and rather than dieting and doing random stuff in the gym i changed the way i eat as a whole. It took me a while, with all the research, and the apps, whatnot, but it was worth it because now they are the part of my life and i don't have to think about how much/what i should eat.

    I was lucky because back in the day when i first started gymming, my mum had a few friends who were trainers and body builders and they explained a lot of things about food + exercise, etc. I think it's worth asking a personal trainer or dietician if you are not sure. Most people are surprised when they see how much i eat, because nowadays they think i basically eat nothing. Haha… so yea, it's confusing.

    But you can do it! See, here's me telling you, like you would tell other people 🙂


  2. BiblioNyan says:

    Oh, I’m always struggling with this and it seems to be much worse during the summer. I’m actually going to be talking about this on Sunday for Self-Care Sundays. Sometimes (uncommonly) I can deal with it okay and try to feel comfortable in my skin, but more often than not, it’s a big emotional and mental struggle that I’m still trying to find balance with.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s