I’m going to be completely honest here – therapy absolutely terrifies me. I know that with the right therapist, it would do wonders for me. I advocate for the importance of therapy, and its inclusion in mental health narratives. I’ve been trained as a mental health practitioner through the UK charity Mind (which is not the same as a therapist, but has given me some insight).
But I’ve had bad experiences with therapy in the past. One of my therapists didn’t react well when I came out to her as bisexual. I was having a lot of anxiety about telling my parents, and she completely dismissed my worries as ‘silly’. Since then I’ve decided not to disclose my sexuality. It’s a unique experience, holding yourself back to the person you should be able to tell anything to.
And that’s just one of my experiences. I’ve been told that because I’m not sexually active, that means I’m asexual (WRONG), I’ve been told that if I just put some effort into it, I’d be able to think myself out of my depression (WRONG), and my thoughts and beliefs have been belittled. I’ve also had the experience of having to wait for months to be seen. I recently went through a bit of a hard time in May, and I was told that I could be seen in NOVEMBER. WHAT IS THAT. (I’m keeping that appointment, I think. But who knows what mental state I’m going to be in. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time if I’m doing well.)
The reason why this is at the forefront of my mind is because I was recently offered another round of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). And I’m not sure what to do. The practice seems good, but I’ve been to seemingly good therapists before. I’m in a good place right now. Perhaps it would be a good time to see someone again. But like I said, I’m scared. I don’t want to be let down yet again.
What do you think about therapy? Should I try again?