A bit of a long title, I know, but this is something that I had to comment on. Thought Catalog recently published an article entitled This is Why People With Anxiety Are The Best People to Fall in Love With. I’m not going to link it, because frankly I don’t want to give it any more views.
Now, the author has stated that she has anxiety. This is no way an attack on the way she experiences and talks about her mental illness, as everyone’s is different. This is a comment on how this article could easily be taken out of context, is (in my mind) romanticizing mental illness, and does not speak for everyone. In my responses, I’m going to talk about how I think of anxiety, in the hopes that the differences in people’s experiences of anxiety, and how they think about relationships in particular.
People with anxiety are sensitive and old souls. They have so much heart. And they are going to pour all of their energy into this relationship.
- My anxiety does not make me an old soul. What makes me an old soul is my love of 50s music, and preferring tea parties to house parties, and loving fluffy socks. This is not the same thing.
- No, I’m not going to pour all of my energy, because I have limited energy to begin with. This is something that I’ve had to come to terms with in the course of the last few years. When I have to choose between texting my boyfriend all night, and having the energy to be able to get out of bed the next morning? Bed wins. Because I function on a different level to many people, and I do not have the spoons to be able to do that.
They know that they have baggage. They know that they have issues and that their mental health can sometimes bring you and your relationship down but, they trust you won’t leave.
- I hate the idea of baggage. Like I’m a pack horse that is lugging about a collection of problems to unload onto other people. I have different experiences of the world, but I reject the idea that it is baggage.
You are loving someone who will never take you for granted, because they know how rare it is to find love.
- Yes. Instead, my anxiety would make me constantly worried that my partner would leave. Telling myself that I never deserved love in the first place, and that when the relationship inevitably falls apart, it is entirely my fault.
- People without anxiety know how special love is, too. I’m genuinely not sure what the author is trying to say here.
The article tries to end on a positive note:
But, just know, that they aren’t broken people.
To be honest, I wouldn’t want to date someone who needs to be assured that I’m not broken.